Being Gay By TinTin Bersola

TV host Tintin Bersola wrote and article in Philstar about being gay.   After reading the article, my perception of her suddenly changed or should i say plummeted.  Added to my dismay was when she mentioned that she consulted a family counselor and psychologist  Dr. Camille Garcia, which made me think the article was a collaboration of both minds.

The article was an offshoot of what they have discussed in the daily morning show, Good Morning Club.  They discussed about what a parent should do if their child shows early signs of being gay?  I cannot comment on the show because  I haven't seen it.  I just want to say a few things of what she has written of which for me, ridiculous in its entirety.

At What Age will The Signs of 'Gayness' Come Out?

Tintin wrote that 'true gayness' comes out at pubertal stage.  Can anybody prove that majority of children before puberty who have shown signs of 'gayness' (playing girls toys and effeminate) turned out to be straight?  Don't you think it's otherwise - that majority of those who have shown signs of gayness at a very early age turned out to be really gay and those who didn't are still questionable? - if you know what I meant.

Parents Are To Be Blame If Their Child Turns Out To Be Gay

Another thing that I don't agree with what she wrote was that parents should not tolerate the behavior - that parents should not support, encourage and accept it.  Are we back in time?  I would have accepted this if this was written 30 years ago.  I cannot say more, just read again what she has written:

What is wrong with some parents is encouraging the behavior. It’s like when a parent says, “Kung ano ang binigay sa amin ng Diyos tatanggapin namin.”

What creates the reinforcement of the said behavior is when parents allow the thinking. (For example: “Sige anak, ok naman na maging bakla ka, tatanggapin ka namin.”)

Should parents be alarmed and arrest the situation? Or encourage it?  Arrest the situation, ’yun ang tama. But most parents encourage the situation. Tatanggapin agad.

Let’s be moral in making the child understand the situation, di ba yun ang dapat. We tell our child, “Anak, mali ito.”

Reading further,

Make sure you discuss with your child openly. “Alam mo anak, hindi namin gusto yung ginugusto mo“

Explain that he is a boy and therefore, as boys, they grow up as men and their partners are women. “Hindi kasi tama ang makasama sa buhay at magpapamilya ay parehas na lalaki. Kung ayaw mo itama ang ginugusto mo, hindi namin matatanggap yun.”

I don't believe that parents should be blame if their child turns out to be gay and I don't believe either that being gay is a product of irresponsible parenting.

Is being gay really a lifestyle choice? Or genetically influenced?

This is what she wrote:

The genetic predisposition is there but if from the start it is corrected, maiaayos. Remember, genetic predisposition. Hindi minana, na at the start bakla siya. Ipinanganak siyang lalaki o babae. Ikaw na magulang ang mag aayos at magtuturo. Thus, the lifestyle and preference become prevalent rather than the genetic factors. This is the most Christian and appropriate explanation I can give.

I would say it's brilliant answer for people who thinks that being gay is a lifestyle.  I would have chosen not to become gay had I knew that being a gay is just a lifestyle.  Why would someone choose a lifestyle that is ridiculed and mocked by the people in the community.  I am not a scientist that's why I don't want to go into genetics.  I just hope that people will understand the complexities of being human.  I believe I am gay because I am. 

Lastly, I don't want to be totally biased with what Tintin wrote.  Towards the end of the article she wrote what she would do if her son grows up to be gay:

I will not encourage it. But will I accept? A mother will always accept her child. A mom may not agree with all of her child’s choices or preferences, but in the end, being a kind human being is more important than what your gender is.

A parent must be there to support and love their children all the way, no matter what. We all deserve to be happy and free.

We are all children of God, and in the end, regardless of gender, it is God who will judge us.

I just have one question with the second statement, how can you support your child all the way if you can't accept his being gay?